


Carousel of life

by Kade



Category: haikyuu
Genre: AT - Freeform, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Tragedy, Bokuaka - Freeform, Death, First Time, KuroKen - Freeform, M/M, Tags, Wow, angst with happy ending, bad, goodluck, i wrote this at 3am, sorry - Freeform, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-09
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:20:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26380309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kade/pseuds/Kade
Summary: “It’s been months since the incident happened, Kenma. You aren’t eating right, or even sleeping at all.” said Hinata, worried, “Are you really okay?” He continued.Kenma wanted to cry. He wanted to burst. He wanted to scream- to shout so bad,but he cant.“Yeah” Kenma whispered, “Thanks, Sho.”
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 4
Kudos: 38





	Carousel of life

**Author's Note:**

> please shh im bad at desc and tags. I’m trying to write again after years passed. Not proofread, made at 5am posted right after.
> 
> Trigger warning// death

“It’s been months since the incident happened, Kenma. You aren’t eating right, or even sleeping at all.” said Hinata, worried, “Are you really okay?” He continued.

Kenma wanted to cry. He wanted to burst. He wanted to scream- to shout so bad,

but he cant.

“Yeah” Kenma whispered, “Thanks, Sho.”

“Kenma, come on. Snap out of it, It’s been months now don’t you think its time to let go?” Hinata said to him

Silence

“Feel better. Im leaving now, okay?” Hinata says and gave Kenma a pat on the shoulder

“Yeah.” Kenma whispers again

As soon as Kenma hear the door close, he burst into tears.

_ Why is it always like this?  _ He asked himself

He wiped his tears and looked at his phone, he looked at the texts he sent.

To: _Unknown_

Kenma: Please tell me this isn’t real

Kenma: Please tell me this is all a dream.

Kenma: Please.

Kenma: It’s Hinata’s birthday. You love birthdays, right? God, I wish you were here.

Kenma: i’m sorry. for everything.

_ Error: Message not sent, The recipient’s number is down right now. Please try again later. _

He laughed

_ Of course it’s not sent.  _

_ Why would it be? _

_ He didn’t receive it. _

_ He never will. _

Kenma closed his eyes, trying to sleep for him to stop crying.

Sometimes it gets this worse. Some days it’s good, Some days it’s worse.

This day is one of the worst. He’s tired of this. But he won’t stop it. He can’t.

It’s like a carousel, it just spins him ‘round and ‘round until he’s nauseous to even stand up and get away from it.

It’s a carousel. It’s called the carousel of life.

Hours later, he woke up, drenched in cold sweat.

“Kuroo...” He murmured.

His thoughts were interrupted by a call on his phone.

it was Akaashi.

“Hello?” Kenma says as he wiped his tears and sweat.

“I’m here outside.” The caller says and hangs up.

Kenma wipes his tears and walked outside.

“Are you going to come in?” He says to Akaashi, who’s back is facing him.

“No. Sit.” Kenma sits by his side as Akaashi lights up a cigarette .

“Do you know that’s bad for you?” Kenma awkwardly asks

“Yeah. I know.” Akaashi nodded

After minutes of awkward silence, Akaashi finally spoke

“You know,” Akaashi puffs his cigarette 

“I guess I was lucky.” Akaashi says, as he smoked. “I got lucky because I got to say what I wanted to.” Akaashi smiled at Kenma, who is looking at the ground

“I got lucky because I said it before Bokuto-san died.” Akaashi says, as Kenma put his head on top of his knees. “You’re different. Yours is.” he continues, “Your pain is far worse than mine. I know, Kenma. I know that for a fact. We all do.”

Kenma looks up at him, eyes filled with tears, “I didn’t get to say _I loved him_ , Akaashi. I didn’t.”

Akaashi was about to speak, but no words came out.

“I- I- I didn’t. Now he’s never going to know that now. He’s never going to know how much I loved him, how much I care for him.” Kenma stutters.

“Kenma, Kenma. Listen to me. Look at me.” Akaashi says, Kenma looks up.

“He knows. _Kuroo_ knows that. He knew from the very start that you loved him- that you cared about him. He knows.” And as soon as Akaashi said that, Kenma burst into tears once again.

“He does?” Kenma smiled at Akaashi

Akaashi smiled back. _“He does.”_

Silence enveloped them.

You know, the carousel _does_ stop. The carousel stops at your own will. You, yourself will be the one who stops the carousel of life when you’re brave enough.

And Kenma was.

“Does it ever stop hurting?” Kenma asks and looks up at the blue sky.  It was Kuroo’s favorite thing in the world.

“No. You just make room for it.” Akaashi smiled.

Kenma felt the carousel stop. He did it.

**Author's Note:**

> OKAY HOW WAS IT please comment or like or something??? please dm/ message me for criticism (any kind.) (@yatosscarf on twt) im rlly sensitive so pls dm :(


End file.
